Further Discussions on our Need to Place Ourselves in Peril

(Or: Why are we such friggin idiots at times?)

Helen  from Buckey Down Under

Helen from Buckey Down Under

Why do we wish to go through all this? Why does a woman want to? We can imagine why, the social pressure to conform to society’s ideals of a feminine standard which changes through the years anyhow. Go back through a history of fashion and note how often women are the ones who end up strapping themselves into all sorts of foundation garments to ‘improve’ their  shape. But for whom? Just think, Woman! In the morning they get up, have a shower then breakfast, then make-up on, fix hair, don clothing selected, dress or skirt and top? Slacks? Maybe stockings, high heels or flats. In a corporate setting a dress and jacket, or skirt suits or a pant suit. My favourite, which I employed a lot when having excursions into town or city was the corporate look. I felt I blended in or at least no one paid any attention.

You see, clothes define the person and we have to be careful in what setting we want to be defined and in what persona we wish to compared. In my previous column I mentioned dressing one’s age, referring a mature age lady who was dressed as a teenager which might have worked at a party but not walking down the street in the afternoon. I think, there is a lot to be said for dressing ones age, especially if you want to be accepted or even to blend. You know, I am sure the expression, “Mutton done up as lamb’. Watch a group of women in a social setting, they are checking the opposition out. They will be so willing to make sure they aren’t as ‘bad as’ someone else there. And a man has to be on his guard if he is with a woman and she is doing this, cos he will be asked, “I don’t think I’m as bad as that, look at ……” 1/ Her dress, 2/ her skin, 3/her make-up. Please note 2/ This is the newer version of the old, ‘Does this dress make me look fatter?’ Check the neck under the chin, this is where aging seems to be targeted as far as women are concerned. If the wrinkles are going to start they will be here.

My point is that if any one is going to check you out it will be another woman! As many will attest the worst of these are the young woman, teenage girls are the worst, hunt in packs, they have a definite dynamic of pack leader, various levels of sycophantic hangers on as well as trusty supporters and lieutenants. In a group, shopping malls are the basic hunting ground. School is finished, or during the holidays, they look round for prey, some poor soul they can ‘verbally’, bring down or maybe in real time embarrass, cutting down to size? If you find yourself near such a group, move fast, head down and get away. I was with a girl friend one afternoon in Melbourne and walked out of a large store in the city centre, made a right turn and almost fell over a group of such girls, all in uniform waiting for something, bus or some transport! As soon as I saw them I almost fainted, which, as a diversion, never works by the way. My companion was left in my wake as I accelerated away from the possible carnage. Luckily I moved so fast they hadn’t had time to register my presence.


Helen in earlier years

There is no point in worrying about this situation, if you have the urge to go out and about, at some time it will happen! What you need to develop is not a perfect appearance, perfect make-up, but a hide like a rhino! If someone does read you, if someone does challenge you just ignore them and keep walking if you can. If you’re on a bus and why are you? Get off as the bus stops. There is no easy way out of this situation, you can either stand your ground, demand your rights as a citizen, which of course you have every right to do, but not many are as brave, like me, I recommend moving away.  Sadly there are those who resent anything or anyone different or whatever they think is too different and feel attack is the only response. If you are an expert in martial arts, a Bruce Lee prototype, good luck.

With the increase of the availability of drugs like ICE or GBH an increase of antisocial behaviour has been noted on public transport. In Melbourne we have now have transport police on stations and very welcome they are too. They are needed.

What I’m saying is, girls are careful when they go out, pick where they go and make sure they are safe. This goes for all girls, including us.


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