Mandy’s adventures is based on a series of videos by Mandy White, a UK-based trans woman, who enjoys shopping, clubbing and the everyday activities of a normal single woman. Her experiences are not unlike my own when I lived in El Paso and had a trans girlfriend willing to share those activities with me.
What I hope to achieve in this post is to take the mystery and possibly the fear out of being in public for those of you that have not yet experienced the joy of being a woman in a woman’s world.The inner sense of fulfillment that you will experience when walking through the parking area with your skirt swishing around your knees, being greeted by the saleslady as she leads you through the store helping you pick out outfits and then helping you evaluate each item is a world that no man will ever understand. These are experiences for women only.
However, do not expect to pass even if your presentation is flawless. Women seem to have a sixth sense about who we are, but it makes no difference. You almost always will be treated as a woman providing you act the part. And that holds true for most places that you are likely to go
In my instance, my favorite shopkeeper (at Lane Bryant) went out of her way to ensure that I would not be embarrassed in any way. Our part of that unspoken bargain is to dress appropriately, as does Mandy, to be well groomed, and to act ladylike. Do not identify yourself as trans but do ask permission to use the changing rooms. The saleswomen will guide you. I’ve even had other customers help me without asking.
So join me in Mandy’s adventures as goes shopping, enjoys the nightlife or flits about in public. Below each video is Mandy’s explanation of her adventures.
“Make-over HQ” is located in a hotel apartment somewhere behind Central Train Station. A converted Warehouse with a pleasant combination of industrial and architectural design, I park up in the basement car-park and am soon standing outside room 201 with my change of clothes. I’m expected but things are running a little late. The apartment is very spacious and I’m directed towards a spare bedroom.
The day is close and muggy. I wash myself down in the bathroom, allow a moment or two to cool off and have a look around. A voice shouted a cheery hello and asks if I’m alright. Immediately I’m more at ease.
The first idea had been to leave the house for the nail appointment in business suit with minimal make-up, but running late the suit, carefully selected to blend into the busy city remained unhelpfully on its hanger back at home.
My choice of dress is light, airy and very pretty. Teaming it up with a little black cardi I practice a twirl or two. Glossy red stilettos with a mid-high heel completes the look. Gazing out of the second floor window down on the hectic city streets I notice the mixture of business types, shoppers and tourists but so far no girls in summer dresses. And, the weather is looking uncertain.
I’m called for and within moments I am immersed into a fabulous mix of professional scrutiny, humor and the occasionally dubiously related song. I sink into a welcome blissfully calm state. Make-up and hair is carefully attended to and soon a few photos. I’m shown a picture – my heart stops!
How is this possible? There’d been no mirror to watch the transformation and now I look at this image of a glamorous woman in total disbelief. Can this really be me?? My head is spinning and I feel an emotional rush swelling up inside! It was if in the minutes that had passed I had been genetically re–engineered.
Well, ones things for sure – I’m now ready to Sparkle!
The apartments are arranged around a massive open area in the centre of the hotel. There is some kind of convention going on and I gasp to myself as I walk along the walkway away from room 201 and the safety of the pop-up salon. I’m now suddenly transported into the normal outside world. I’m also trying to accustom my walk into the red stilettos
Through the doors, into the lift and down to the ground floor. Nobody about so far. Outside and through a door to the stairs down to the car-park. My heels clatter loudly on the metal steps.
Back at my car I take a huge deep breath and pause for a moment to gather my thoughts. I’m still sort of in shock at being thrown into a female body and not at all in role yet.I vaguely think about driving nearer or even getting a taxi over to the Village but my girlie mind has already decided. Checking my handbag for essentials I decide to pop in a pair of flats. Dusty pink with glossy black bows they make suitable backups – there’s already a challenging walk ahead and I don’t fancy getting myself hopelessly distressed.
Heading back up the metal stairs grasping my handbag I’m starting to panic. In just the pretty summer dress which is a couple of inches above the knee, short black cardi, nude stockings and the glossy stilettoes I feel so incredibly exposed. I step onto the street and along in front of the hotel main entrance. A few people walk by but pay no attention. It starts to rain slightly so I stop to slip on my raincoat. Up goes my little flowery brolly and I am thankful for a little cover to hide behind.
Bit by bit as I walk down to the bustling station approach the feminine side takes over and I start to feel more relaxed. My toes and calf muscles have accepted the constraints of the stilettoes. There are people everywhere busying about. It stops raining so I fold down my brolly. Surely I must stand out but I see nobody staring. I feel nothing less than totally vulnerable and thank my make-over for the expertise!
Across the busy junction then down two more streets and I’m to the end of the Village. There is a mass of purple bunting and people everywhere. The sun has slide out from behind a cloud and there is a pleasant hubbub going on. People are sitting out thoroughly enjoying this special day and socializing.
The brolly goes back into my handbag which I drape over my elbow and prettily flop my hand – how feminine my slim hand looks with the lovely red nails and assortment of rings. Taking centre at the top of the street I start to gracefully promenade down the middle of the cobbled street and soak up the admiration 🙂
Dearie me. They look so nice but will they fit me?
I’m standing gazing at some lovely strappy pink shoes. I don’t want to risk buying them if they don’t fit and there is no way I can try them on dressed like this! Tomorrow is club night and I haven’t been for two weeks. I decide to revisit the shop with the lovely shoes on the way to the club when I’m dressed more appropriately. I can also pop in and see Linda.
It’s now Wednesday and it’s taken me hours to get ready. I drive over to the town and around to the area where the shop is. I try to park nearby but everywhere is so busy and I’m two streets further away. I’m flustered and getting a bit panicky. I check my make-up in the mirror and then see if anybody is about. It seems quiet for the moment so I swing my legs out of the car and change into heels. I pull my coat around me, pull over my hood and walk up to the end of the street to the start of the shops. I’m trying to get into female mode but my feet want to take longer strides. Calm down and relax, I’m telling myself.
I cross the street to where the shop is. It’s not there! I don’t understand. Suddenly I feel quite exposed. I stop and look about but I can’t just stand still so I walk on. Maybe the shop was on the next street. It starts to rain so I put up my umbrella. There are people on the street but I’m not looking. At the next street, no shop, nor the one after. I’m confused and getting further away from the safety of my car.
My girly mind is struggling to remember where the shop was and I find myself walking towards the main shopping area. It’s still raining and I have my head down hiding under my hood, hair and umbrella.
The previous day the “man in my life” had bought me a dress for tonight from a posh shop right in the town centre. There was another nice dress I had fancied but didn’t buy in case it didn’t fit. As I looked down at my smooth stocking legs and office shoes they are walking on and taking me into the outer part of the shopping centre. It’s still raining and there are people everywhere.
Passing through the doors I’m now inside. Under the strong lighting I’m forced to take down my hood and umbrella. I feel so incredibly vulnerable and as I glace around I see no other female with even a skirt and black tights. Here I am with my legs in complete display. I’m forced to be feminine as possible and replace my panic with a gentle smile. I’m now completely in role. I am woman.
I cross the shopping centre and into the calm of the dress shop. I’m a long way from my car. I’m in heels and regardless of what happens next it’s a long way back. and even then I’m not sure of the way. Phew! I pause for a moment to calm my racing heart and catch a breath. An assistant softly asks if I need help with anything. Before I can think (there’s that girly mind again) I ask if it’s alright if I try on a dress. The assistant says of course and walking back down into the shop, asks which one. I’m following and starting to badly panic again but I point out a deep red flowery frock. The assistant asks me my size and has me smoothly over at the changing room. I’m now inside with the curtain closed. I look at myself in the mirror.
Dearie, dearie me, what have I done….and, now what I am to do…? With my panic more than half of this “adventure” didn’t come out because I had the camera not correctly set up. The assistants were totally lovely and the whole experience an incredible pleasure. They fussed about with all the fabulous dresses and tops and made me feel completely female. They said I could try on as many as I liked and said I was welcome back anytime. Wow!!!
I went to show Linda my lovely new frock and set off for what was to be a full exciting evening with dancing through into the small hours with new friends…wearing of course my gorgeous new frock! I still haven’t found the disappearing shop with the lovely pink shoes 🙂
It’s Saturday and I’m the way to the club to see the other girls and find out if anybody is going out tonight. But first over to my favourite dress shop stopping by to catch up with Linda and buy some essential make-up. I park the car in the usual place and walk across the town. How funny now to remember the panic and nerves the first time I crossed the square. Now it’s busy and I’m happily female. I walk at a graceful leisurely pace and enjoy the warm sunshine. Through into the indoor market. Linda’s face lights up when she sees me and we hug and chat. A new lipstick colour is discussed. Something deep red, elegant and reminiscent of the 40’s, plus one or two other feminine essentials.
Now through the outdoor market I’m walking. I’m wearing my favourite business suit and catch the occasional admiring glance. Into the shopping centre where there are busy shoppers everywhere. My heels click on the floor as I enter. I notice my reflection in a large window…mmm, lovely! With so many hours dancing in high heels my ankles and calves have changed – more toned and feminine.
In the dress shop I try on some new items and settle on a yellow stripped dress which I wear that same evening. It’s so difficult being a girl. So many outfit possibilities and nice things to buy.
Dearie me, well didn’t Saturday come around quickly? And, it’s a lovely sunny day. Mmm, that black and white dress is still in my favourite dress shop but I so wanted to try on that pink one again…so feminine and pretty, but what could I wear that would go with it?
My make-up and hair is all set. I carefully slip into a pair of new stockings and pull on my businessy shift dress. Pearl earrings and necklace, matching bangles and rings then into my jacket and smart court shoes – I’m all ready to go. 🙂
Into a bag I pop a pair of sticky red mid-heel and a pair of high heel black stilettoes, check my handbag for essentials then off to the shops. Better pick up some cash in case there’s anything to buy! 🙂
Ooo, I need the loo, that last cup of tea has gone straight through me -let’s pop into the supermarket on the way.
Sunglasses on – across the town square, so quiet for a Saturday. Through the market and into the dress shop.. Where is that pink dress? Size 10 and a size 14…mmm. Sold the last 12. Ok, let me try on the 10. It fits but the lovely assistant says it looks a little too tight around my bust. This will never do – everything must fit perfectly. But I do so like the dress so will see if it is in stock on-line.The assistant shows me a spotty frock that has a nice flare and just knee length. It’s the last one, it’s in the sale and just my size. Let’s try it on. Oh, my nails…Please zip me up. Perfect! Oh, and a little belt…so sweet! Well, at that price…
A little black cardi goes so well, I look so lovely 🙂 Well let’s try on some other dresses. A quick “No” to the red but I like the way the flowery dress gives me hips. I like the black one but I’m told I look too officey!
I could even wear a little petticoat with my new spotty frock. Well time to be off to see the girls and later out dancing 🙂
Something a little shorter, I thought. Something to show off my nice legs… there had been so many compliments and well it was still summery, and I quite fancied something new to dance in,. bright and colourful… and shorter.
Off to the shops and see if anything new is in. It’s a lovely day so I can wear my favourite pretty dress and yellow cardi. I park up the car and head into the market. Dearie me, I’m so accustomed now to being out in public – It feels so natural.
I stop at the market café and order coffee and something light for my lunch. I’m wearing big sunglasses and sit outside in the sunshine. There’s so many shoppers and occasionally I receive a glance – well, I do look lovely!
I’m still a little self-confident and feel exposed but that’s the thrill. As I stand to walk across the market, I take a deep breath. It’s never certain what will happen but whatever I must play it out as a normal female. I battle briefly with my nerves and then set off as gracefully as I can.
In the shopping centre I withdraw some cash and then make my way across to my favourite dress shop.
There’s smart new dark blue suit in. Quite nice but when would I wear it? A couple of black and white numbers. Both show off my figure!
I so like the lime green jazzy dress, it fits me well and will be good for dancing. I can get it shortened.
I have make-up and other essentials to pick-up so change back into my summer dress and off around the shopping centre.
It’s Saturday so I can pop into the club to see the other girls then off to town for dinner and dancing.
The comment about Goth make-up hadn’t been received too well. Admittedly it was a mirror in a dimly lit night club but I did look a little grey and ghost like. Maybe a lighter powder might help. It’s Saturday and I’m standing in Boots looking at the Mac powders. One seems far too light and one too dark.
It’s a lovely day. I want to go out tonight and look lovely and natural. I’ve been told I have a dark complexion and can’t remember which I already have. Dearie me I’m all in a flummox. It’s very busy but I walk over to the No 7 counter for advice and see the lovely assistant who’d previously done my make-up. She remembers me and we talk all things foundation and colour. She says she could just squeeze an appointment in a couple of hours!
Heavens! I need to change. I’m driving back into the town and everywhere is so busy. It a warm sunny day and I hope my minimal make-up suffices. Hiding behind my big sun glasses I make my way from the car-park through all the shops. In my business suit, stockings and court shoes I feel quite the professional. Every other girl I see is in jeans or leggings.
In Boots I change into a posh frock to show what I will be wearing in the evening. I’m introduced to the manager and they fuss around me. We discuss skin tones and I’m advised what suits me the best. It’s so lovely to sit and have my make-up done by experienced professionals.
Later in the afternoon I change into a pretty summer dress and fit in a little clothes shopping. A girl just can’t have too many nice dresses and shoes can she?
So, first a make-up session in Boots, then nails and finally the dress shop to check out the new season items. It’s Saturday, I haven’t been out for a while and I’m all in a tizz. Contemplation of everything required to look as pretty as possible and step out in public leaves me shaking with nerves.
Somehow or other I’m now walking through the doors into Boots and immediately I notice how busy the place is. Forcing myself not to turn around and walk out I seek the Benefits counter and the lovely assistant I have the one o’clock appointment with. She’s delighted to see me and can’t wait to get started on my look. I change into my business suit and perch on a high stool in the centre of the beauty section. Heart racing panic as I try to calm myself midst the busy shoppers and shop assistants. I’m made a fuss of!
Cleanse, moisturizer, primmer and foundation. Careful contouring and onto the eyebrows. We discuss the idea of waxing to improve the definition of my brows and other ways to remove facial hair. Would you like smoky eye shadow? I’m in your hands, I say. Do whatever you think will look nicest. Three coats of quality mascara and I’m starting to look more girlie. Eyeliner, some highlighting and then onto my lips. First we try a nude pink but darken with a deeper pink. I’m all done.
As I change into my new mint flowery dress and matching shoes I wonder if I will look all too elegant for a Saturday afternoon at the shops. The assistant wants to see what I will be wearing later – plucking up courage I step back out into the shop and suddenly become aware of the height of the heels. As I shorten my stride and submit to the feminine role I feel my calves tighten and bottom push out. I receive admiration from the make-up girls and leave in the direction of the nail salon.
Walking through the crowded shopping centre I’m terrified to look directly at anybody in case I lose my nerve entirely. I focus on my walk and feeling as female as I can manage. Clear or red? The lady in the nail salon asked. I didn’t understand and answered Red. Dearie me this was a misunderstanding I later regretted. She meant the base acrylic coat – not the final varnish colour. Two days later and hours of filing I still had bright red nails and had to seek the help of another nail salon. Once the acrylic base coat had dried, a shellac top coat was applied and set. This is the longest nail set I’ve had so far and now think slightly shorted are cuter.
Soon in the dress shop and just enough time for one or two items….I’m trying on a lovely wrap faux suede coat from the new season for the chilly weather. Seeing this back on the video makes it a must for later buy The red dress I’ve asked to be put aside for me is a size 10 and I look amazing in it. Later with darker evening make-up and red lips I am stunning!
I was told to try on a 20s flapper dress and loved the movement and feel of the beads against my smooth legs …not totally sure about it –what do you think?? The seams on the tan stockings are hardly visible so next time black seams methinks – no substitute for glamour x
Dearie me, I’ve been hours at the salon and running so late. I was hoping to be over at the club for a few hours in the afternoon to chat with the other girls but it’s already 3 o’clock and there is a way to drive.
At the club it’s T-girl’s day and many of my new close friends are there. I order tea with a straw and tell them about my long Beauty Salon pampering treat. I love the false lashes and the pink lips. We chat about all sorts of girly things.
As the weeks have gone by, and it now over 9 weeks, my confidence has increased and my interests have shifted. I have been going out twice a week and often not returning home until 5 or 6 in the morning. Lots of meeting new friends, chatting and dancing…. On occasion I have found somebody to dance with who completely treats me as a woman. As I am quite petite I can be placed with ease with somebody experienced in dancing and follow the lead – even with my high heels on I am still smaller and can twirl under their arm.
I drive from the club into the city centre. I park and pop into a couple of the bars to see who is around and chat with the regular T-girls. At about 10:30 we are into the clubs and dancing. Tonight I have somehow attracted a man who is getting way too fresh. He keeps telling me I am beautiful and tries to put his arms around me. He has been drinking, but I am only drinking orange juice. It is now already 2:00 am and all the girls I know well have left so I am on my own. I feel so very vulnerable in my little dress, stockings and high heels, but I just want to dance.
I try to tell him that I am really not interested but like a typical man he just keeps pestering. I try to walk away but he follows me. I sit down and cross my legs. He sits next to me and puts his hand on my thigh. I’m starting to badly panic.In desperation I stand next to a couple of nice looking gay guys at the bar and their female friend. I have been watching their dancing and they are amazing – they know all the moves.
The taller guy realizes that I am uncomfortable and asks if I am ok. I say not really. He asks if it is the man who is standing looking over at me and I say yes. He says Come on over love and stay with us. I finish my drink and am smoothly taken onto the dance floor.
He has perfect poise. He tells me later he is a professional dancer. He is quite handsome with a neat beard. We dance for ages and he knows exactly how to lead, place me and guide me into each next step. Although it is modern dance music with heavy beat, I know enough about old-fashioned ballroom to respond correctly as expected of a woman. I am acting girly and petite. I put my hand on his chest and find it so exciting to see my small hands with bright red nails on his chest as he has his arm around my waist. I know many of the words which we act out to each other. I am feeling so intensely feminine – probably more so than most real women ever will experience.
We are dancing to a slightly rock and roll number and after a sequence of twirls he pulls me right into his chest to try to spoon me round backwards, which I just don’t have the flexibility for, he realises he has taken me to the limit. He is SOOO complimentary both about my classical look, which as you know is always elegant and stylish, and he even compliments my dancing.Such compliments from a professional gay dancer – Swoon!
Dearie me, this is a tiny fraction of all the wonderful experiences over the last few weeks. It’s so difficult to take pictures but at least I have a souvenir of the evening with me in my pretty frock, and with my lovely dancing partner….